Marriage is a serious business. You cannot expect love to sustain your relationship always. You need to be pragmatic about many matters that directly pertain to the wellbeing of your relationship, even if it involves asking hard and awkward questions.
Many couples shy away from real talk before their marriage to avoid conflict. While you can walk away freely before you are married, but what will you do when these questions inevitably turn up during your marriage, shaking its structure, and putting its survival into peril?
After you are married, the stakes run higher. Therefore, it is best that you ask these hard questions before marriage, so you both know the expectations you have from marriage. Whereas every couple has its own dynamics, some important questions that should be concerning you include:
What is your principal birth control option?
You might feel extremely awkward when broaching this subject, but it is vital that you discuss birth control before, since sex is very much part of the relationship. For a more educated deduction, women should also consult their gynecologist in Itefaq Hospital.
Most often, the burden of birth control is something women are made to bear. However, it must be understood that many hormonal contraceptives cause a lot of distress to women and might not be a viable option for many.
Thus, birth control options need to be addressed beforehand, without any shyness or hesitation.
How are you going to resolve conflicts?
Fights are inevitable in any relationship, and since marriage involves spending greater time together, it is even more prone to conflicts.
Unless these are addressed in a healthy fashion, it can have disastrous consequences for your marriage. So, have a conflict resolution strategy in place. Get ground rules like you will not stop talking to each other, you will resolve the issue even if it means having uncomfortable conversations, and you will be open about what is bothering you.
How are you going to split finances?
Finances are the ugly but the necessary, and one must talk about them. If both partners are working, then decide your contribution to your household expenses, how will you be splitting the bills, will you be having separate or joint accounts.
If one of the partners is working, what’s the stake for the other one. Since financial security is crucial, no one person should be left vulnerable.
How are you going to split the workload?
Household chores can quicky become the bone of contention, so it is best that you discuss these before you end up getting married. The chores should be split in an equitable fashion, so no one partner is left to lug around the weight of their living.
What are the family dynamics you want to maintain?
Families can lead to relationship conflict. So, before getting married, talk to each other about the family dynamics that you are going to maintain. Are the parents going to have an active role, or they will not be allowed to meddle in their private life etc. These questions may be uncomfortable, but are vital, nonetheless.
What things you are not willing to compromise on?
Before you commit to marriage, both the partner should be aware of boundaries they absolutely cannot cross. Having certain standards set in place is important so that no one person is exploited.
For example, some people might not have any tolerance for flirting, lying, smoking, watching porn etc. It is best that you put together the list of non-negotiable items before.
How many children do you want?
You should be on the same table when it comes to having children. How many you want, and when you plan on having it. While accidents can happen, it is best still to plan a family, so that the woman can have her checkup done in-time from her gynecologist in Fatima Memorial Hospital.
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